As televisions evolve, so do all of the equipment that go with it. You bought a 4K television because you wanted a crystal clear picture with bright and bold colors. It follows that your sound quality should also be top-grade. This is why many people have started to buy soundbars for their home entertainment system.
What is a Soundbar?
A soundbar is a one or two-piece system that functions as speakers for your 4K television. They’re specifically designed for people who are not able to install freestanding speakers for their television. Additionally, the sound output quality of just about any soundbar is infinitely better than you’d get with your traditional television speaker system.
These devices are designed to fit seamlessly into a very compact and slender space. Soundbars generally only use two cords when you hook them up to your television. This eliminates the problem of clumsy cords hanging out the back and around your entertainment system.
Most soundbars also play the sound back to you in surround sound. This allows you to immerse yourself in your show without taking up the usual space that a traditional surround sound system would. There are several speakers built along the entire length of the soundbar. You can set them and choose which output you want to use.
Deciding Between a Soundbar and a Sound Base
When you start searching for a soundbar, you’ll notice very quickly that there is a subcategory called a sound base. Both of these devices perform the same action. They give you crystal clear and uninterrupted sound quality. However, a sound base is designed to sit on a shelf or TV stand. They’re durable enough to support your television’s weight. Additionally, a sound base can’t be mounted on a wall as a soundbar can.
Why Get a Soundbar?
If you’re thinking about buying a soundbar, you obviously want better sound quality than your typical television speaker will give you. You’ll get greater clarity, a richer sound, and an overall better experience when you use a soundbar. Additionally, soundbars also support:
Dolby Studios released Dolby Atmos to take their viewers listening experience up to the next level. They added layers and layers of sound to a traditional listening experience. This layering was made possible because the rich sound comes from above the listener. Any sound you hear can travel in a variety of directions. In turn, you get a surround sound experience that’s better than ever before.
To get the most out of your 4K television, you want to be able to experience the sound that comes with your UHD-Blu-rays. This is known as DTS:X sound. A soundbar can take this clear audio and magnify it, so you get full room-filling sound. Additionally, it can help to project it around the room. It turn, you’ll get a viewing experience that matches your 4K television.
Types of Soundbars
There are generally two different types of soundbars available. They both perform the same task of enriching your audio experience. The mounting system is what makes them different.
A traditional soundbar is designed to sit right in front of your television. Some companies are designing them to blend right in with your television to increase the overall aesthetic appeal. They’re very slender in build. This makes them easy to set on a smaller television stand without a problem.
The second type of soundbar available is the wall-mounted soundbar. This is a great alternative for people who want to hang their 4K television up on the wall. Mounting your soundbar on the wall creates a clean and sleek look. You get mounting hardware included when you buy your soundbar. This allows you to install it yourself quickly and easily.
Reasons to Invest in a Soundbar
There are several reasons why people choose to purchase soundbars for their home entertainment systems. They include:
When it comes to buy soundbar, there are several important benefits that come with this purchase. It’s important that you shop around and compare various options, so you’re sure that you find the correct soundbar to suit your needs. If you do this, you’ll get a sleek addition to your home entertainment system that gives you sharp, clear, and rich room-filling sound quality.
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“My guy never calls but says it’s because he’s really busy and blah blah blah…”
“A guy I like said he wants to ask me out but hasn’t. Does that mean blah blah blah…”
“We had sex and now I hardly ever hear from him. Is he not into me anymore or does he blah blah blah blah.”
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Listen to your friend, ok?
I’ve been walking this earth a long time- more years than I care to admit- and I’ve learned a few things about people. Two of those things bear repeating here.
Talk is cheap
He told you this and that and the other. Fine. I’m not saying he’s a liar; I’m saying that talk is cheap. People often say what they want to do without stopping to think it all the way through. They mean well, but they are misleading not just you but themselves, too. Others are just flat-out liars.
In creative writing courses, they teach you that the best way to illustrate someone’s character is through action and not talk.
Think about it:
Which is a more powerful?
A guy telling you that he’s a humanitarian or a guy helping up an elderly woman who has fallen on the sidewalk?
What people do is far more believable than what people say. Always believe actions over words.
Men are simple creatures
At the risk of sounding like I’m dogging out my fellow XYers, I believe that men are fairly simple to understand. Just watch us. Our actions speak far louder than our words.
When we want something, we usually go right after it. When I need a new underwear, I go to the underwear store. There, I find the underwear, buy it, and leave. End of story.
I don’t stop to look at socks, I don’t try on belts and I don’t look for a sale flyer to see what t-shirts might be on sale week after next. I buy the drawers and I beat it.
Ok, so what’s the point?
My point is this: if a guy likes you, you will know it.
He will call and he will text. He will ask you out and he will Twit you and Facebook you and Skype you. He’ll blow off his friends, old girlfriends, studying, the frat bash, soccer practice and anything else that prevents him from seeing you.
If you go out once and he doesn’t ask you out again, he’s no longer interested. If you sleep with a guy and never hear from him again, he got what he wanted from you and has moved on. And if he dates you but still keeps other women within close reach, he might be interested in you, but not exclusively.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you suspect that he’s not into you, he probably isn’t. You could be wrong, but I bet you aren’t.
There’s an old saying: when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.
Of course, there are always exceptions. By no means am I telling you to mistrust everything a guy says. I think most of us mean well and there can be good reasons you haven’t heard from us.
But there aren’t many good reasons. How long does it take to text? Shoot an e-mail? Call?
What I’m saying is that if a guy says one thing and does another, choose actions over words.
The post Actions Over Words: Believe What You See From Your Guy appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” ~Mark Twain
Life happens. And sometimes when life happens, we can get pretty stressed out. I’ve found that the way we view situations can either reduce our stress or make it worse. Here is just one way we aggravate situations, possibly unnecessarily, and how we can adjust our perspective to keep stress in check.
A colleague of mine claims that he is “calendar-challenged.” He is often unable to attend meetings at the last minute or shows up late. I am, by contrast, a planner. I live by my calendar and know what I am doing months in advance. The different approach that my colleague and I take in the way we plan—or don’t plan—can cause friction.
I could interpret my colleague’s behavior as merely irresponsible and chalk it up to a fairly ingrained part of his personality. That situation is irritating at worst. Or, I could take his lackadaisical approach personally by assuming that he doesn’t value me or my time. That’s somewhat stressful. I could even interpret his behavior as intentional and assume that he takes delight in making me angry. That is really going to stress me out.
Do you see how my interpretation of the behavior can be as benign as “he’s not a planner” and it can escalate all the way to a vengeful person determined to sabotage my career?
When we draw conclusions about a situation without checking the facts first, we can escalate it into a full-blown crisis in our minds. In other words, our negative thinking can spiral out of control, rapidly increasing our anxiety, unnecessarily.
That’s called globalizing. How we think about our own stressful circumstances can make all the difference in the level of stress we feel.
Many of us have experienced a workplace where budget cuts or a bad economy results in layoffs. The pall that can settle over an organization going through a period of like this can cause a great deal of stress, even for those employees still employed.
Enter globalizing. I have what I call “straight to bag lady” syndrome. I can become convinced that if I lose my job I will never find another one, I will become homeless, and then I will be forced to live on the street.
During the downturn of 2008 when many organizations were shedding employees like leaves in the fall, I occasionally went into this spiral in my mind. My good friend and colleague, however, did not. When I would ask her if she was stressed out by the loss of colleagues around us, she would say, “Yeah, I’m not going to worry about it. Even if they let me go, I assume I can just find another job.”
Wow. What I wouldn’t give to have her attitude.
She wasn’t oblivious to the fact that there was a good chance she might lose her job. However, instead of globalizing and assuming everything would just get worse and worse, she was able to stick to the facts in her mind and not globalize. She knew she still had a job. She knew there was a good chance she might lose her job. If that came to pass, she had a plan in mind. Being a bag lady was not part of her plan.
About a year into our firm’s layoffs, my colleague really did lose her job and she put her backup plan in place. She started her own business, something she had always wanted to do. Most importantly, throughout the year of layoffs, a legitimately stressful time in her life, she didn’t drive herself crazy with worry along the way by imagining the worst.
I’ve heard that our bodies and brains respond to an imaginary worry in the same way they would if the imagined situation was actually happening to us. Why put ourselves through the stress of something that just isn’t as bad as we think?
Globalizing places a very negative filter over our perception, causing stress and anxiety to feed on itself. We are, then, far more likely to interpret every situation as disastrous and to give the least benefit of the doubt to every person we encounter.
The loss of a job is made worse by globalizing that we will never find another job again. The loss of a partner is made worse by globalizing that we will never find anybody else with whom to share our life—or that every member of our pool of potential candidates is horrible. The loss of a marriage is made worse by globalizing that we are not loveable.
The best way to reduce anxiety is to look at the facts rather than our subjective interpretation of them. It is all the more important to doublecheck facts if we have come from anxious environments, where the people around us were globalizing up a storm.
Digging into our own background to make sure we have not applied a negative filter to everyone we encounter is an important step. Doing so will cause us to lose the opportunities presenting themselves in times of perceived crisis or to miss out on all the people who would never dream of acting in a negative way toward us.
Is my colleague’s calendar issue just an irritating quirk, is it part of an overall pattern of behavior that evidences one’s disrespect for another’s time, or is it evidence of something worse, such as intentional sabotage? Is my fear of going “straight to bag lady” based in reality in any way?
One way I bring my perspective back to an objective one is by whipping out a pen and some paper and making a list that separates the facts from my fears.
I can list the times that my colleague’s lack of organization affected me. Then I can all of the ways my colleague is respectful of me. When I step back and look at both lists, I will have a better picture of what that calendar quirk of his really means, if anything.
My lists may show his calendar challenges as an anomaly compared to a long list of behaviors in which he is respectful and supportive of me. In that case, I can chalk up poor planning skills to an irritating and innocent habit, find a workaround to the problem, and be thankful I work with such a good guy. No one is perfect.
On the other hand, if I see that there is a pattern of behavior in which my colleague seems to genuinely devalue me and my time, or the list reveals someone who is intent on sabotage and it is directed squarely at me, then I have clearly defined the problem at hand. Regardless of the results, they will bring my perspective much closer to reality instead of the anxiety-provoked interpretation that may be in my head.
In gauging my risk of becoming a bag lady, I can write down all of the factors I have working in my favor. If I have solid work experience, a good education, and a good network of contacts, is there a reasonable expectation that I will find work, even in a poor economy?
I can also list the backup plans available in case it takes a while to find another job. Perhaps I have savings, supportive friends and family, or an available line of credit at the bank. Since someone is always hiring even in the worst economies, I may need to start exploring other geographic areas or industries with opportunities.
Reigning in our brains from globalizing a situation—even if it reveals that a problem does exist—still relieves our stress significantly. It defines the problem and it clarifies the extent of it, which enables us to respond appropriately. A problem accurately defined is already partially solved.
Keeping globalization in check also means that we reduce the stress of the people around us. If we are constantly overreacting to others, assuming they have done something intentionally when their behavior is well intentioned—though perhaps imperfect—we are creating conflict that need not exist. People around us will distance themselves from us, since no one feels they can trust an overly sensitive, over-reactive, and accusatory colleague.
If I freak out every time another of my colleagues is laid off, then the people around me will also keep their distance. They are focused on keeping their own anxieties in check and a frenetic worrisome person in their midst only makes it harder. Anxiety is contagious, but fortunately, so is calm.
Are you inadvertently making a difficult situation even worse? Unfortunately, it is human nature to globalize about how badly things might be. It is our ego’s misguided attempt to gain control over an unknown. If we think about the worst-case scenario, then we will be prepared if it turns out to be true, right? Wrong. Globalizing just leads to the escalation of a situation.
Regaining an objective perspective prevents us from floundering in negativity and enables us to move forward into a resolution that accurately addresses the situation.
About Paula Jones
Paula Jones is a life coach who supports young women in breaking free of the practical path, discovering their heart’s passion, and sharing their truth with the world. She loves to read, write, be in nature, connect with beautiful and amazing like-minded women, and spend time with her man and corgi pup. Visit her at HeartDrivenLife.com.
The post To Reduce Stress, Stop Globalizing and Put Things in Perspective appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
Are you ready to get married?
Having a discussion right from the start of a relationship that you are looking for a life partner is a great approach. Do not agree to stop dating others until you and your partner have discussed where you’d like the relationship to go.
Are you both thinking in the same direction or do you have different goals in dating?
After a time of exclusive dating, for a maximum of 6 months, we recommend you have a conversation about a timeline for marriage.
Here are the tops questions you should ask before getting married.
Do you want to have children?
One of the most common challenges that we see with our clients revolves around women who have the conflicting pressure of building a career as well as a romantic relationship with enough time to honor their biological clock for having children. Starting to create a family over the age of 36 years old can be difficult for women.
It is very painful for a woman to be in a relationship for five or more years only to learn that her partner does not want children. Unlike a man who can have children at almost any age, women need to be asking questions about children early on in their relationships.
One of our patients, Donna, is a woman who is 36 years old and is now freezing her eggs because she desperately yearns for a child. Her husband of eight years is just not interested in children. She hopes someday he will change his mind.
If you want children, do not continue to be in a relationship where the other party is not sure if they want to have children. We recommend that you politely and lovingly tell your partner that should they change their mind, they can let you know.
Can you both make your marriage the number one priority?
Are there commitments to parents or prior children that prevent you from making this relationship your priority?
This question is the most challenging and very important.
There are invisible loyalties that can undermine marriages. Parents, overworking, passionate hobbies, health issues, and even friendships are some of the commitments or obligations that can prevent a couple from coming first with each other. It is devastating to find out after your wedding vows that you are not the priority in your partner’s life.
These issues can be negotiated but it needs to be done before you make your relationship official.
What is your attitude towards drinking and drug use?
Another important issue you need to address before you take yourself out of circulation relates to your partner’s attitude towards alcohol and /or drugs. Frank discussions about drugs and alcohol use are essential.
Do not think that you will change your partner’s attitude towards drugs and alcohol because of your love for each other. Alcohol and drug use is a huge problem that can lead to loneliness, disconnection, and divorce.
What is your involvement in religion?
You also need to discuss your perspectives about participation in religion. If you have important differences, that could be a big problem. Having different religions can also be problematic.
If you’re going to have children, what religion will you raise them with? Do you want to be at home raising the children and be a full-time domestic partner or do you want both of you working?
If you come from a culture that expects the mother to be home with the children and your partner does not, this could be a big conflict. If both partners feel comfortable about working full time, that could be fine. It is important to talk about your financial and domestic roles before committing yourself for marriage.
Does your philosophy of managing money match your partners?
Discussions about financial goals are important before committing to marriage. Arguments about money are a common cause for divorce.
Do you have debt? Is it important that you have a plan for retirement? Do you pay your bills on time? Do you work for the purpose of travel and adventure or are you more interested in building your savings, or just living within a budget?
Who will pay the bills? Over what amount of money would you want a joint decision to spend? $100? $500?, $1000?, $10,000?
Do you have health issues which could impact the relationship?
Not disclosing your history of depression, debilitating migraines or other ongoing health problems can explode later. If discussed ahead of time, your partner will not feel betrayed by your withholding information about major health issues.
Recently, a couple came to see me for counseling because the wife had a dramatic episode of depression just days after the wedding probably due to the stress of organizing the event. She had been on bipolar medication with on and off depression for a year but had not disclosed this to her new husband. He knew she was on some medication, but he did not know the details.
She was unable to function for 12 hours after the wedding and only then told him of her problem. He felt betrayed. Their lives have been greatly affected by this intermittent cycle of depression and his distrust has grown as he now contemplates divorce.
Love and passionate romance are an important value in modern marriage but unless you are open and honest about these issues, your marriage will just have a shaky foundation.
Sitting down and honestly talking about your expectations will not sound like an exciting venture. However, this is an important conversation that needs to happen if you want to avoid painful surprises.
Don’t think that you can change your partner. If you are not able to negotiate important differences, know that these are the issues that will inevitably show up in your relationship and cause stress and crisis eventually. We encourage couples thinking about marriage to ask the questions we have discussed. You need to use your thinking (not feelings!) and you need to inquire about your differing values and life goals to save yourself from a preventable life of discord and disappointment.
Dr. Barbara Grossman is a PhD marriage counselor with over 30 years of experience with 60,000+ client hours. Michael Grossman MD is an antiaging rejuvenation physician specializing in bioidentical hormone replacement and stem cell therapy. They have conducted marriage workshops for over 25 years to thousands of couples. They are the authors of The Marriage Map: The Road to Transforming Your Marriage from Ordeal to Adventure.
The post 6 Really Important Questions You Should Ask Before Getting Married appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
Are you sick and bored of the nagging people in your life? Does it make you feel more and more annoyed?
Then, it’s the right time to make some lifestyle changes and bring peace to your life.
We all have some people or things in our lives that bug us insanely and we believe we can’t do anything about them.
But guess what?
You certainly can. These simple ways can help you in overcoming negativity and embracing a happy life.
Accept Things the Way They Are
Some people and situations never change no matter how much you try. Surely, there are a few instances and few people we just don’t want to give up on.
But, what if those people are the ones causing you unnecessary stress? Is it just for yourself to keep entertaining them?
Then, it is better to tell your concern to them straight. And if they don’t change after that, then it’s probably their nature. In this scenario, you have to make the hard call. Either accept them the way they are or learn to live without them.
Do Not Invest Too Much in Emotions
Being empathetic and caring is fine. However, it should not be at the cost of your mental well-being.
For instance, consider a colleague comes to you with a problem. You may offer to listen once, twice or even thrice. But what if it becomes more than usual? What if he pulls you out in the middle of work and starts yammering about his problems?
Will you be able to deal with the same story day after day?
If not, then set some boundaries from the beginning. That way, they will not become dependent on you and you will be able to help him happily.
Let Go of the Clutter
Have you ever cleared off your junkyard and felt immensely satisfied with doing so? Yes?
Whether old or new, the objects are surrounded by energy. And depending on the type of energy they carry, they may mentally, physically or emotionally block your path ahead.
When you hold onto unnecessary stuff, there is no place for new opportunities to knock on your door. So, why carry such baggage of negativity?
Dump it out of your life, be it from past break-ups or anything that remotely brings you discomfort.
Listen, Understand and Then Respond
A steamy hot reaction to someone’s comment may make any situation worse than it usually was. It may also lead to unnecessary tension, drama, and negative vibes between both parties.
In this case, all you need to do is keep calm. There might be times when you should speak for yourself but not always. Throwing back insults in response to negative attitude will not yield any benefit.
Besides, it will keep hanging on your head all day, which can amplify your irritation. Therefore, it is important to analyze the situation. Responding wisely will leave you feeling like you have handled things with poise and integrity.
Take a Break from Assumptions
“She is mad because I didn’t invite her to lunch. I think she is still upset with me. Was she laughing at me?”
Do these thoughts sound familiar?
Well, it’s because it is a human tendency to make assumptions without knowing the actual reason. You will constantly churn your brain over these small assumptions until the concerned person comes and talk to you. This is one kind of negativity we bring upon ourselves.
Certainly, negative people may behave irrationally sometimes. But should you be wasting your precious time and energy to make sense of their actions?
Still, if it bothers you that much, be upfront and ask them what the matter is. If you get a satisfactory reply, then good. If not, then let it pass. Don’t over think it.
Dwell in Positivity
What goes around comes around!
It is not only applicable to Karma but also to energy and vibes you are putting out. If you’re constantly engrossed in grief, complains or judging others, you may reap the same.
On the other hand, if you surround yourself with happy and joyous people, you will attract the same.
With any luck, your positive vibes will become nauseating to toxic people and they will slowly fall away from you naturally.
Love the ‘You’
You should be your first concern. No, we are not talking about being selfish.
Negative thoughts and people can keep you up at night questioning yourself, your looks or your behavior. For instance:
Thoughts like these can keep you distressing for days, weeks, months or even years. Sadly, some people take pleasure in others’ misery. And since you can’t control their degrading behavior, it’s important to take care of yourself. Besides, you should also prepare yourself to be centered in some instances. Live positively in the face of their pessimism when you must.
In the end, it all comes down to how you handle the situations and people. If you give in and feed on the negativity, it will grow and rip you. However, with little steps, you can start overcoming negativity and live peacefully.
The post 7 Easy Ways to Remove Negative Energy and Unnecessary Stress appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
“You must learn to love yourself before you can love someone else.” ~Sonja Mylin
It’s tough being out there.
I remember myself some years ago embracing the world of online dating. Everyone kept telling me “be yourself” (and I kept telling myself that), but when I was actually on a date, “myself” would fly out the window.
I’d go hard on the impressing, second-guess myself, drink too much, look for every little thing we had in common (even if the person did not feel right), feel devastated if I was rejected, and utterly lose sight of what I was on the date for in the first place. Perhaps I didn’t really know who I was or how to be her in what I saw as a confronting environment.
Dating brings out all our fears and vulnerabilities. You’re basically putting yourself on a platter, asking folks to judge you: “Pick me! Pick me!” like someone on a reality TV competition. You forget that it’s a two-way street. That you are looking for a suitable love (or a lover) to be with you, and that is all.
We get the little brain buzz from being swiped right, from the initial contact message, from a nod of approval when we arrive. All of these microsigns can feel so great that they interrupt our reasonable thinking around who we’re looking for.
Or, at the opposite end of the spectrum, we’re bombarded with messages from people we’re just not into (and straight up jerks), we go on dates that end up in an awful mess, we get rejected or we reject, which crushes someone, and it all feels terrible.
It’s easy to lose heart.
Dating doesn’t have to be like that. There are ways to bring it all back to what you are actually dating for in the first place. I know for myself that love came my way when I dug down a little deeper, stopped adjusting what I wanted from a relationship, gave it some time, had fun, and was really myself—warts, opinions, and all.
Here are six ways to be out there from a place of self-love and have a much better chance of finding the real love you’re looking for.
1. You are dating to find someone for you, not just to impress.
This isn’t a job interview: dating is an opportunity for two people to find out if they like each other enough to keep finding out. No one is in a position of power over the other.
Try not to spend the whole date putting all your energy into impressing the other person. Remember that you are checking them out as much as they are checking you out, and that you are making a decision too.
2. Identify your values and then look for a match based on those instead of just shared interests.
Sure, you want to be able to enjoy spending time with your partner, but contrary to popular opinion, your partner doesn’t need to be your best friend. You don’t need to do every single thing together. It’s far more important that you have similar core values. Interests can change, but values at their very core generally hold.
What traits and ways of behaving are most important to you? What do you believe in? What world issues really pull your heartstrings? What would you fight for? How will you be able to tell if someone shares your values?
Spend some time with yourself to drill down into the deeper stuff and then look for matching connections. Shared values will make for rich conversation and bring you back together when times are tough, not the fact that you both like white water rafting or watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.
3. Stop performing a version of you.
Many of us filter out the stuff we think might be seen as weird or boring or stupid when we’re dating. Or, it becomes normal to present a curated, cooler version of you. Of course you want to put your best foot forward, but sometimes it’s stripped back so much that who you are becomes completely invisible.
Dating is not a numbers game. You don’t need loads of matches to find someone. You need matches with fewer folks who are really going to get you. Who will think you’re cute and funny and smart and interesting (even when you’re driving them mad).
If you love binging Pretty Little Liars and cheap chocolate, painting old furniture, sleeping in until 4pm on Saturday afternoon, devouring true crime podcasts, attending the odd rally, and you wish you were an earth mother but are really more of a city gal who likes to shop, then that’s you.
And my bet is that you are pretty unique and special with all your faults and quirks. We fall in love with real people, not pretend ones. If someone doesn’t love the real you, then why are you with them in the first place? Wouldn’t it be far more wonderful to be cherished even when you are not the curated version of yourself?
4. Don’t interpret “fun” as just the other person having fun.
Hands up: Who is fantastic at helping other people relax—so much so that you forget to actually notice if you are having fun too?
We all have roles we tend to play in life, and if yours is along these lines, then I’d encourage you to swallow that role somewhat and see what happens when you don’t leap into “Make them feel good” mode.
Live with an awkward silence. Notice if you’re being asked questions, listened to, or engaged in conversation on a similar level to what you're putting in. Spout an opinion or two. Not going well? Then it maybe this one isn’t for you. And phew! You found out early on.
FYI: “Fun,” for those who have forgotten (because you’ve been out there way too long) is having a bit of a laugh and feeling relatively at ease.
5. Yep, it should be pretty easy.
Myth-busting time: Relationships don’t need to be hard and shouldn’t need to be “worked on” all the time. Are your friendships like that? My guess is that the good ones are not. Sure, they have ups and downs. There are misunderstandings and times of trouble. But ultimately, you really like each other’s company. You can rely on each other.
The best relationships are fairly easy. They need to be to stand the test of time. If it’s hard when nothing hard is happening, how is it going to be when something really hard is happening?
Sure, there are situations that are supposed to be fun but instead can be fraught with issues (like moving in together). When we’re invested in someone and then mesh our lives together, that has some serious weight and it makes sense there will be teething.
But if you’re on date four and it’s uncomfortable, combative, awkward, and pressure-filled, and you feel bad about yourself, or the other person is trying to control you? This one is most likely not for you.
Ultimately, dating from a place of self-love is about believing that you are worthy just as you are, and that there is someone out there (maybe several someone’s) who you can and will connect with.
It’s not just about being loved—it’s about you loving someone else. And if you’re coming from a place of self-love, then you will ultimately run the dating gauntlet with kindness, self-respect, and vulnerability without heaping a load of meaning onto rejection. Rejection means this one wasn’t right for you, nothing more, and thank god they did you a favor! Because you are deserving of the real, luscious thing with someone truly amazing.
About Nicole Hind
Nicole Hind is an Australian online counselor who fiercely believes that we all have stories that deserve to be wrenched out of the shadows, increase a sense of hope, of self-worth, and provide clarity on how to approach challenges for the rest of our lives. If you're curious go and scroll through her website, she’s open to new inquiries: http://unveiledstories.com/.
The post Dating from a Place of Self-Love: How Being Yourself Changes Everything appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
You look around you and think, “I have a great life, I should be happy, but why am I not being happy?”
Does this sound familiar?
Perhaps your career is going well, your relationship is strong, your family is great, and you have all the material things you need. So, why are you still plagued by a feeling of unhappiness?
Happiness is a tricky thing and measuring it is even trickier.
But before we start considering why you may not be experiencing the happiness you feel you should, ask yourself this question.
Are you not happy or are you not satisfied?
Happiness and satisfaction are often confused but there is a distinct difference.
To begin with, happiness is an emotion whereas satisfaction is not. If you are looking at your life and the various components that give you pleasure, it is likely you are not unhappy but rather dissatisfied.
Feeling dissatisfied is fairly common.
We are conditioned to want certain things in our lives– money, houses, cars, work accomplishments. Without them, we might feel like we haven’t satisfied certain criteria for success. We feel that we are missing things.
We are also never told that there is a point where you can feel, well – done. In other words, once you achieve the things you were aiming for, most people want more and will ask (or feel like asking) “what’s next?”
The feeling of dissatisfaction or “what’s next” is a frustrating one. It can prevent us from really enjoying our lives and the people in them. It can cause us to always look for the next thing.
So, although you may have everything you need to feel happy, dissatisfaction may be keeping happiness at bay.
But what if it isn’t dissatisfaction and you truly do not feel happy in spite of what seems like a pretty good life?
Feeling unhappy in a seemingly happy life can happen for a number of reasons. Give some thought to those below.
Happiness is subjective
Measuring with the wrong ruler is one of the biggest issues with happiness. What makes one person happy is not necessarily the same thing that will make another person happy.
So, if you are not happy and feel like you should be, think about what you are evaluating.
You deny yourself
Do you love to draw, dance, write or read? The list could go on and on.
If you deny yourself things in life that are a release or an outlet because you feel like they are silly or superficial, you could be limiting your happiness. Hobbies, no matter which ones you choose, are an important part of life and happiness.
You feel guilty
Yes, this happens.
Too often, people don’t think they have a right to their own happiness. They feel guilty about enjoying their lives because so many others struggle. You never need to feel bad about having a happy life. Enjoy it.
If more people did, the world might be a better place.
Anxiety, worry, and stress
No matter how happy you are, these three are a factor in nearly every life to some degree. The key is managing them.
There have been chapters written on how to do this but your approach will depend a great deal upon what it is that’s plaguing you. If one or all of these things are a problem in your life, it can impede your ability to be happy.
This is another factor that comes in various degrees, but study after study shows a direct link between being physically active, eating well, and happiness. If you haven’t already, it may be the right time to make some positive changes to your physical well-being.
You don’t know what makes you happy
Have you checked all the boxes and still don’t feel the happiness you think you should feel?
Maybe they’re the wrong boxes.
This goes back to using someone else’s ruler. Many people never get to know themselves well enough to really know what makes them happy. They follow the guidelines that have been generally accepted by society and expect happiness to come from doing so.
Remember, everyone is different.
You are depressed
Many people suffer from depression. It isn’t a passing sadness or dissatisfaction but a persistent feeling of unhappiness and hopelessness.
Depression doesn’t typically go away on its own and should not be left untreated. If you suspect that you are suffering from depression, seek professional help.
If you have reached a point in your life where you are questioning if you will ever actually feel “happy”, take some time to really consider what that means to you. If your definition seems to be what you already have, look a little deeper. You may actually be dissatisfied or perhaps just one step away from getting where you want to be.
The incorporation of technology in the education sector defines the learning system of this era. Educators are now improvising their methods of teaching to give students a better learning experience.
Modern classroom and personalized learning are two of the most effective teaching approaches. Personalizing students’ educational instructions assist in improving their classroom performance. And a modern classroom gives the perfect environment for applying this customized or personalized learning.
But is pairing modern classroom and personalized learning the ultimate way to provide effective education?
The conventional or rather the ‘old-school’ classrooms are no longer effective for the modern generation of students. To ensure that the students absorb the knowledge being provided in the classroom, technology is used to customize learning according to each student’s needs.
The collaboration between the modern classroom technology and personalized learning can help in bringing out the best in students.
Look at it this way:
Modern classroom supports the creation of study strategies and instructional designs based on each student’s educational requirements. Meanwhile, the technologies used in modern classrooms aid in the development of personalized learning.
So, a collaboration between them can definitely bring many benefits like student engagement, better classroom performance, and more.
The effects of pairing modern classroom and personalized learning
What the traditional teaching methods lack is a connection or engagement between the student and the teacher. Students of this era are more attracted towards technology. When technology is incorporated, the learning process becomes more interesting for the students.
An advanced teaching model, developed considering the capability, interests, and the strength and weakness of each student, give birth to a more engaged classroom. This leads to a rise in a student’s academic achievement.
A research, conducted by Blackboard and Project Tomorrow shows 57% of educators agree that the students in a personalized learning environment collaborate more. When the modern classroom is blended with personalized learning, collaborative learning is facilitated.
Students prepared for future jobs
According to senior personnel of Microsoft, a modern classroom equipped with technology and personalized learning will prepare students for the jobs of tomorrow.
The goal of education is to ensure that students retain the most from the classroom. It has been seen that when students engage in practical and collaborative works, they learn the best. Incorporation of technology and personalized learning does enhance the student’s capability of capturing what is being taught in classrooms.
Enhanced teaching style
The conventional teaching method focuses more on students’ performance in the exams. It does not examine whether the students have a firm grip on the subject.
On the other hand, in a modern classroom, students get the opportunity to explore the topic or subject in their own unique way. When students get to satisfy their curiosity, they become more encouraged to give more input in learning.
A positive classroom culture
When the classroom interaction remains one-way, it’s hard to establish a positive environment. But a modern classroom, equipped with personalized learning, generates opportunities to establish two-way interaction between the teacher and the students.
Not just this, a better relationship is built between a student and his/her peers. All this contributes towards building a positive environment in the classroom.
Deep learning and development of important skills
The new teaching approach focuses more on evidence-based education. Thus, students can relate the theoretical concepts to the real-life situations. This implants a deep learning among the students.
This, in return, assists students in developing several crucial skills like critical thinking, communication, and collaborative. Some of these skills are necessary for tasks like custom writing.
Students take an active part in classroom activities only if they have the motivation to do so. Personalized learning incorporated in the modern classroom allows them to have the authority over their studies.
Apart from that, this kind of learning environment makes studying fun and enjoyable for the students. This motivates and encourages them to take more part in the classroom activities.
Incorporating personalized learning in the modern classroom will definitely have a positive impact on the learning and academic performance of the students.
What do different studies say about these two innovative teaching approaches?
1. According to a survey performed by the PBS Learning Media, 74% of educators agree that technology-enabled education works as a great motivator for the students.
2. Acase study of a school in Portugal shows that the implementation of a modern classroom helped in making the students more excited and engaged.
3. After implementing an open and collaboration based teaching method, the Neosho School District was successful in elevating their learning process. They were able to make the students more engaged with the help of personalized learning.
As we are moving towards a more technologically advanced world, the time has come to get rid of old and ineffective teaching methods. Several educational institutes have already updated them with the implementation of modern classroom and personalized learning.
This pairing is beneficial for both the teacher and the students. Technology helps them to connect with each other to plan the lesson, give the assignments, and also supervise the performance of the student.
So, it is the duty of the educators, policymakers, and other concerned people to design a learning process which will work the best for the students of this time.
The post Modern Classrooms and Personalized Learning Are the Perfect Pair appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain.” ~Rick Godwin
Dave and I met earlier this January. I was immediately attracted to his aquamarine eyes and his tattoos. I met him on the eve of my twenty-sixth birthday and, based on our interaction, I assumed we’d have a casual fling. Things didn’t end that simply, to my surprise.
When we were laying in bed together that first night, holding hands, he turned to me and asked if there was any chance we could get to know one another without sleeping with other people.
This was strange to hear, but as a single woman in Los Angeles, I felt as though I had stumbled across some sort of rare species of man who was actually interested in pursuing a commitment without me having to do much.
A part of me felt caught off guard and suspicious, considering I’d made it clear that this was just supposed to be a hook up. On the other hand, it was kind of nice that someone who I was incredibly attracted to wanted to get to know me exclusively. In retrospect, I realized that it filled me with this feeling of warmth that I’d been deprived of before I’d met him.
Within five days, Dave asked me to be his girlfriend. Although I found his eagerness to jump into a relationship to be a bit off, I agreed because I liked him and wanted to go with the flow.
The first few weeks were amazing, as we shared intimate conversations, romantic outings in Los Angeles, amazing sex, gifts, and the beginning of what felt like something that could blossom into a true partnership. However, the passion was intense, and we hadn’t had much time to develop authentic trust. It became increasingly evident to me that this relationship would be a ticking time bomb.
Within a month and a half, I was overwhelmed with Dave’s jealousy, suspiciousness, and paranoia. He was becoming increasingly controlling and accusatory toward me.
I was incredibly loyal to him and began to resent feeling like I was always doing something wrong when I was trying my best to be a good girlfriend. His gifts started to seem like a farce—like he had simply gotten me them to possess me instead of genuinely liking me for who I was.
I broke up with him a few times because I couldn’t tolerate his jealousy and the way he degraded me. However, I would go back to him because I’d remember the good times and was becoming addicted to the kind of intensity he provided for me.
I would question myself and think perhaps I was being too critical; after all, no one was perfect, and I should be flattered that someone was evidently so invested in me. I was in it too deep to see things clearly and make the right decision.
When he and I would split, I’d attempt to get out there and date others, but no one was able to elicit the same warmth and stimulation I’d felt from him. So I’d go back to him. Just three months into this, we’d already established an on-and-off relationship that began to deteriorate my mental, emotional, and physical health.
The fourth and final time we broke up ended with him yelling at me in public. I had wanted to leave a particular bar because I’d had an anxiety attack, and he accused me of wanting to exit because of “some guy” there. He was totally delusional. There was no guy in the bar I was trying to hide from him.
I remembered chasing Dave after he’d stormed out from the bar and thrown money at me, demanding I take a bus back to my house. I was actually crying on the street chasing him while he yelled at me! I hated myself and the woman I’d regressed to.
For comedic relief, there were two women watching us fight, standing outside a movie theater eating popcorn.
“Don’t chase him, girl,” they told me. “He’s mean. Look at how he’s yelling at you. You deserve better.” Dave cussed at the girls before running off. I stopped chasing him. I came to my senses. It was brutal, but I realized that this relationship just wasn’t worth all the pain anymore.
Part of me hates myself for letting myself get involved in such a clearly self-destructive relationship. I would like to say that this is my first on-and-off relationship, but it isn’t. Based off my experiences and observations, it seems like once you’ve been in one on-and-off relationship, you’re prone to more.
Why couldn’t I just walk away the first time I broke up with this guy? Why do we get hooked on the drama of on-and-off relationships? Here are some theories I’ve formed.
1. Life wasn’t much better before.
Looking back, I wasn’t in a solid place in my life before I met Dave. I was bored and at a crossroads with my career. I was highly susceptible to getting caught up in something like this because I was unhappy with my life and the drama provided both stimulation and a nice distraction.
2. Masochist tendencies
Even though Dave had shown me his mean streak within a month of dating, I stuck with it thinking I deserved it and that I should endure it for the greater good. My parents often shamed, invalidated, and criticized me when I was growing up, and as an adult I’ve been attracted to partners who do the same.
3. Not knowing and sticking to your deal breakers
I knew I was turned off by extreme jealousy, but I didn’t know it was a deal breaker for me at the time. Now, looking back, the deal breaker I’ve settled on is being degraded or humiliated for someone else’s uncontrollable jealousy.
4. Developing an addiction to a person
I’d become addicted to Dave, the sex, and the whole act of reconciling. There’s something intoxicating about the highs that follow the lows. It’s a cycle many are familiar with, and I am one of the lucky ones that got out of this relationship before it became even more destructive.
Now that I’m armed with this knowledge, I’m going to focus on understanding and working on my masochistic behavior. I’m going to get more clarity on what my deal breakers are and make sure to end things once I feel someone isn’t respecting them.
I’m sure there are some on-and-off relationships that end up working out, but in my experience, the whole act of repeatedly getting back together and breaking up undermines trust. I’d love to hear any experiences you’ve had with on-and-off relationships and any insights you’ve formed.
About Monica Viera
Monica Viera is a novelist who lives in Los Angeles, California. She is best known for her novel Crazy Meeting You Here and the website she’s created, partnersofaddicts.com, which provides resources for those who are in a committed relationship with a recovering addict.
The post Why I Got Caught Up in the Drama of an On-and-Off Relationship appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
Approximately one-third of children (under 18) in the United States wear glasses or contact lenses. Yet, many children don’t have the glasses they need. 14% of 5th graders went without needed glasses in the last year and nearly one-quarter of teens with correctable vision have the wrong prescription. Among African-American and Mexican-American teens, that rises to one-third who are wearing glasses with an insufficient prescription.
The Role Vision in Learning
Nearly half of children don’t notice they’re struggling to see until they can’t see the board in the classroom. At that point, their vision is likely already affecting their learning and performance in school.
Poor vision makes it difficult to read. It can cause headaches and tiredness that can interfere with one’s ability to focus on a task.
Parents often don’t realize their child has trouble seeing until told they need glasses during an eye exam. Kids rarely complain about poor vision because it’s all they’ve ever known. Don’t let your child fall behind – learn to spot the signs of poor vision.
Signs Your Child May Need Glasses
If you notice these signs that your child is struggling to see, it’s time for an eye exam:
Early Intervention for Eye Health
Early detection of vision disorders is essential to children’s learning and development. In preschoolers, poor vision has been linked to delays in cognitive and motor development. Not being able to see clearly can interfere with children’s ability to learn and early treatment can be key to preventing further loss of vision.
Head Start provides preschool education to children from low-income families and requires every child to be screened for vision and eye health. As a result, 1 in 5 preschoolers enrolled in Head Start has a diagnosed vision problem. For children not enrolled in Head Start, regular visits to your pediatrician should include an eye check and screening for indication of poor vision.
Milestones for Infants & Toddlers
If your child has difficulty reaching these milestones it could be a sign of poor vision or other developmental issues. See your pediatrician for follow-up and testing.
Vision Care for Children
Don’t ignore vision care just because your child doesn’t show signs of blurry vision. Vision care includes monitoring eye health through regular check-ups, in addition to determining the need for corrective lenses. An eye exam is recommended for every child with a family history of poor vision, a recognizable eye abnormality (such as the lazy eye), or who has other risk factors for vision problems.
Check out this infographic to learn more about children’s vision and eye health:
Please include attribution to FramesDirect.com with this graphic.
The post Does Your Child Really Need Glasses? Here’s How You Can Tell appeared first on Dumb Little Man.